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Author Topic: Deer Hunter Diseases  (Read 1154 times)

Offline Hunt Master

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Deer Hunter Diseases
« on: February 13, 2010, 06:21:01 PM »
Deer Hunter Diseases

Husband - “Honey? Have you seen my Real Oak, Skyline, Swamp Leaf, Scent Proof jacket?”
Wife - “Did you look in your hunting closet?”
Husband - “Yeah but that’s my Mossy Tree, Pine Limb, Bug Proof jacket.”
Wife - “What about the jacket in your hunting room?”
Husband - “No… That’s my Bow Hunting, Camo Net, True Life jacket. I need my Real Oak, Skyline, Swamp Leaf, Scent Proof jacket and nothing else will work!. Hey!! Maybe I left it at the hunting camp….”

This conversation usually takes place between me and my wife at least 3 times every week of whatever hunting season happens to be in. Deer season is the worst with Turkey season in a close second and Dove season rounding up third. After years of thinking it was just me, I finally made a doctor visit and was diagnosed with that awful disease… “Igottoomuchstufis”? The only disease worse than that nearly fatal condition is the dreaded disease…… “Idontnowheremystufis”.

Both of these conditions, while treatable, have been known to cause such dire symptoms as missed hunts, missed shots, lost game and even missed excuses! In fact, I would be willing to stand on my reputation and say that both of these diseases have probably caused more divorces than a 20 year old blond secretary.

In order to full understand these dreadful conditions, one must go back to a time when the diseases did not exist. For that we have to go way, way, way, way back to the 1960s and look at how these conditions were created. Was this a man made bug created in some laboratory or was it a natural reaction to pollution? Neither! Igottoomuchstufis was first seen not long after another virus was released onto the hunting scene in the mid 70s. The dreaded “CabelaCatalogis” started showing up in people’s homes and has been linked as the major cause of Igottoomuchstufis. Now with the dreaded “Igottagotobassproshopitus” making its rounds through the hunting community, there is no telling what kind of damage and carnage this will cause.

While “Idontnowheremystufis” may never be cured, there is now a cure for “Igottoomuchstufis”. The cure, while simple, is completely ingenious! All you need to do is every week, pick out 5 to 10 items from your hunting collection, place them in a plain brown cardboard box, put my address on the outside of the box and take it to the Post Office for shipment. Continue this course of treatment for 6 to 8 months or until your hunting stuff becomes manageable.

Until next month, this is Dr Hunt Master saying   "If you can't be hunting...be here.."
« Last Edit: March 06, 2013, 11:07:06 AM by Hunt Master »
If you can't be hunting....  Be here...  --9-8-7
TalkHunting  Founder

 

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